


Little Pig

by Solziv



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Carboard box love, Cardboard Boxes, Edible, Fear, Fear of losing the one you love, Frogs, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Parody, Pigs, Sad, Sad Snake, Scared Snake, Snake loves his box, The horror!, Why Don't You Marry It?, box - Freeform, is it edible?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:31:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9678944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solziv/pseuds/Solziv
Summary: MGS3. Para-Medic discusses pigs with Snake. Drabble.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I’m surprised this conversation didn’t occur in Snake Eater. Para-Medic’s dialogue about Tree Frogs is taken directly from the game, but the rest is purely made up.

The realisation of forgetting to turn off the radio was followed by the cursing of one’s own stupidity. However, before anything could be done to rectify the situation, a sunny voice filtered over the frequency – specifically belonging to the last person called.

Para-Medic. She understood what area the operative currently sneaked through and decided to give him a run-down of its wild inhabitants. Having already begun detailing the habits of a particular species of frog, Snake felt too much of a gentleman to interrupt; after all, she _was_ helping with the mission, and he lacked enough knowledge on the little, potentially edible amphibians.

_“Snake, that area should be inhabited by Tree Frogs. The Tree Frog is a green frog that's found throughout Asia. Its arboreal, spending most of its time in shrubs and bushes. Use the tranquiliser gun to catch one alive. I bet you could scare an enemy good, if you toss one at him. But the tree frogs that live in that jungle are a lot bigger than ordinary tree frogs.”_

He waited until she finished, before asking, “Well?”

 _“‘Well’ what?”_ Surprise was evident in her tenor, causing him to roll his eyes. Who did she think she dealt with?

“How do they taste?” he spoke, a tad impatient, then heard sighing and grumbling on the other end. His attempt at innocence wouldn’t work, but he tried anyway, simply to tease the woman. “What?”

 _“Is there anything you won’t eat? God, you’re like a little pig,”_ the doctor muttered, and a low chuckle escaped his vocal chords. She added, _“Should have been your codename.”_

“Naked…Pig? Catchy.”

_“Yeah, well, pigs will eat almost anything you throw their way – vegetables, meat…even man-made objects, such as waste and cardboard boxes-”_

Eyes wide as saucers, there was evident panic in Snake’s reply. “What?”

_“Hmm?”_

“They eat…cardboard boxes?”

_“Yeah. Staples an’ all.”_

The operative couldn’t quite tell if Para-Medic was taunting him with said information or being sincerely informative. Worried, he became catatonic, picturing his beloved container being devoured by a fully-grown porcine. He ignored her badgering for a response and turned to his box, gently patting it, before beginning a vigilant watch for advancing trotters.

 _“Snake? You there?”_ she badgered, growing truly concerned. The man had never been so quiet before. _What if he’s in trouble? Hurt? Dead, even?_ It didn’t bear thinking about. Her voice raised in pitch, stricken with fear. _“_ _What’s wrong? Answer me!”_

Then a grunt emerged on the radio, and she relaxed a little. _Phew._ “ _Don’t scare me like that.”_

 _I scared you?_ The operative thought, with some resentment. Considering what she just put him through, he didn’t want to talk to her right now.

Almost as if the prior conversation never occurred, Para-Medic returned to the initial topic. _“Don’t you want to know how Tree Frogs taste?”_

Practically pouting (and half-wishing she could see), Snake ended the transmission.


End file.
